Christmas Wishes
by owlsong489
Summary: Christmas is coming to a close, but there's still one thing that Lily hasn't gotten off her list.


The quidditch pitch was cold and the wind stung her ears as she lay in the grass, staring up at the cloudless sky. Lily always loved the stars in the winter. Something about the air was so crisp and clear, it made the stars seem so much closer—like she could just reach out and touch them.

It was late on Christmas night, her very last Christmas at Hogwarts. She usually spent the holidays at home with her family, but not wanting to miss any bit of her last year she had signed up to stay at school with most of her girlfriends and of course all the Marauders. She laughed softly to herself, wondering how those four boys had managed to weasel their way into her heart, how they somehow earned the rank of 'friend' in her life. But, she supposed, one doesn't befriend just one of the Marauders. It's all or nothing with those boys.

Closing her eyes she couldn't help the image that flashed across the back of her eyelids—messy black hair, and crooked glasses framing a playful smirk. She sighed, opening her eyes and slamming her hand on the soft grass next to her. Curse that stupid gorgeous boy for making her feel this way. As Head Boy and Girl they had been forced to work together—not that she was opposed to the partnership. Their friendship had grown last year, but she was nonetheless shocked to see the Head Boy badge pinned to his chest in September. But over the course of the last four months, she found herself constantly drawn to him, seeking him out in the library, in the common room, in the corridors, always with some excuse about scheduling rounds or organizing some school-wide activity.

And suddenly she found herself falling for him fast and hard. And that blasted boy just carried on without even noticing. It took her 7 years to realize that she fancied his stupid gorgeous face. But it only took him a year to move on and forget about her. She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around her chest, trying to warm her body. What would she have given to go back and time and talk some sense into her silly 15 year-old head, to convince her younger self to give James Potter a chance back when he had offered it to her so willingly and enthusiastically. That was really all she wanted this Christmas. One more chance to make up for her stubbornness. And of course the chance to snog his stupid bloody face off. But she couldn't exactly add that to the Christmas list she had sent home to her parents, or subtly drop that bomb on the girls when shopping in Hogsmeade last month. So instead she just kept it to herself, sneaking glances at James throughout the day, willing him to wake up and realize that she had completely fallen for him. And thus, despite the holiday cheer and excitement that had filled the castle, the new set of robes from Alice, a new copy of Jane Austen's Persuasion from Mary, and some delicious home-baked goods from her mother, Lily couldn't help but feel disappointed. Empty, even.

When she heard footsteps from behind her, she didn't even look up. How embarrassing that she could even identify him just by his pace. She clamped her eyes shut even tighter, hoping he would just leave so she wouldn't have to deal with the awful ache that overcame her whenever he was nearby.

"A bit cold tonight, don't you think?"

Damn. No such luck. She opened her eyes, staring up at him. He smiled down at her, waving a steaming thermos of something that smelled delicious. Damn him, she thought.

"Maybe a little," she responded with a sigh, pulling herself up to a seated position. "But it's so peaceful out here. And the stars are so beautiful tonight."

"Watch it there, Evans. You sound like a centaur." She felt him sit down beside her. He conjured up two ceramic mugs, pouring out some delicious Earl Grey tea for each of them. She took the one he offered, wrapping her frozen fingers around the mug, letting the heat slowly spread up her arms.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem. I noticed you leave the common room earlier and when you didn't come back I was a little worried. It's late you know. And you, Lily Evans, are not one to stay out this late past curfew," he joked, nudging her with his shoulder.

"Oh shut it," she laughed. She took a sip of her tea, letting it warm her whole body. Over the rim of her mug she noticed him staring at her.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" She quickly pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her hand, wiping at her face, already feeling the blush of humiliation wash over her.

"No. No, you're fine." He grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her face. "You just look upset."

"Upset? Why… why would I be upset? James, its Christmas!" she tried to pull a smile back on, hoping that he wouldn't see straight through her act. How could he read her so easily?

"I don't know, Lily. You tell me. Is it your sister again?"

"Oh no, no that's not it. Tuney sent me a really amazing gift actually! A new record from my favorite muggle group. It's really-" she stopped herself when she noticed his raised eyebrow. "Okay, no that's not the point. But no, it wasn't my sister. And it's nothing really. Anyways, you can't always get everything you want on Christmas." She shrugged it off, taking another sip of tea.

"What was it you wanted, Lily?"

Startled, she looked up into his eyes. He was looking at her with such a curious expression.

"It's nothing, James. Really, it's not a big deal. And I don't want to be selfish. It's probably better this way anyways."

"Well what was it you wanted?" he asked, setting down his own mug and picking at the grass in front of him. He looked up at her again.

She laughed, shaking her head at her own foolishness. "Just something ridiculously silly. And probably impossible."

"So you're really not going to tell me?"

"Nope. I'm really not going to tell you," she added with a near perfect imitation of his own signature grin.

"Oh Lily. You're ridiculous, you know that?" He ran his hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up in the most adorable way.

Forcing her eyes away from his face and back towards the sky, she added with a laugh "So I've been told."

She felt him move beside her, their arms just barely touching as he leaned back to look at the sky with her.

"I didn't get everything I wanted either, you know. As usual," he laughed. "There's always that one thing missing."

She looked out of the corner of her eye, noticing that he was doing the same. She smiled at him. "What a sad pair the two of us make. Deprived of all sorts of Christmas goodies. But again, I guess its better than just a lump of coal."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. Muggle thing," she added with a smirk. She still loved leaving James in the dark about all things muggle. She always felt like she had an edge over him this way.

They lapsed into a peaceful silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Neither aware that what they both wanted was within reaching distance, if only they would dare to put themselves on the line once more. Lily had almost forgotten that James was there when she heard his soft voice beside her.

"It really is beautiful."

She turned to see his face silhouetted in the light from the moon and the stars. And then she felt the wind knocked out of her. Damn these stupid emotions and damn her fears and stubbornness. She let out a heavy sigh, sitting up once more and looking down at her hands.

She heard him say her name behind her, but she didn't look up.

"Lily," he said once more, a bit louder. "What's wrong. Just tell me. We're friends, remember."

"Friends, right." She gave a bitter laugh, looking back at him. And once again, she felt like she couldn't breathe. And she wanted to hit him for it. "It's you, you stupid bloody idiot. You and your stupid face and your thermos of my favorite tea. And you're just so nice and so fucking perfect. And dammit James, it's been two bloody years since you asked me out. Turns out you were right all along, and it just took me too long to realize. And now there's no going back. Merlin. I'm such a fool…" she trailed off.

She set down her mug of tea and made to stand up, but James grabbed hold of her wrist.

"Lily. What did you just say?"

"Oh, like you didn't hear me, James. Go on—just say it. Let me down easy and we can go back to our blasted friendship. I don't even know why I-" but he cut her off there with his lips against hers.

Lily gasped, her eyes flying wide open in shock. But no—that was definitely James' face right there in front of hers. And those were definitely the lips that she may have dreamt about before on multiple occasions, moving ever so softly against hers. And his hands—one running up from her wrist, along her arm, coming to rest at the back of her neck, fingers playing in her hair, the other suddenly at her waist, pulling her body closer. And within those few brief moments all other thoughts disappeared from her mind as her eyes fluttered shut and she kissed him back, her own hands coming up to his chest, pulling him closer. And it was everything she hoped that it might be.

When he finally pulled away, she couldn't help the small sigh that escaped her lips. James laughed, leaning back just far enough to look her in the eyes. He answered her shocked look with his signature lopsided smirk.

"Was that, by any chance, what you wanted for Christmas?"

Lily couldn't help the smile spreading across her face, the blush creeping along her cheeks and collar. "That may have been part of it," she answered, before pulling his face back to hers for one more Christmas kiss beneath the stars.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note<strong>: This was my first fic ever! So I hope you enjoyed reading it, because I definitely enjoyed writing it :)

And of course, I own nothing but the love I carry for James and Lily.


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